Standings & Miami Carlins 2013 Roster

Final Season Standings

East Division

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages: 18-4

Team Gold 14-8

Stone Cold 12-10

Cecil Cantrell: 10-12

SI Hurricanes: 3-19

West Division

Drunkin’ Drafters: 12-10

Team Boyle: 12-10

Miami Carlins: 11-11

The Fuzzy Taints 10-12

Houston Asterisks: 8-14

Playoffs Round 1 Results:

Team Gold beats Miami Carlins 324-290

Team Boyle beats Stone Cold 323-284

Playoffs Round 2 Results:

————————-

My current roster. At the base I will update with any transactions made and my weekly results as they occur.

miami carlins

C Carlos Santana

C Wilson Ramos

1B/OF Allen Craig

1B Freddie Freeman

2B Ian Kinsler

2B Omar Infante

3B Pablo Sandoval

3B/1B/2B/OF Matt Carpenter

SS Starlin Castro

SS/3B Jose Iglesias

OF Andrew McCutchen

OF Jayson Werth

OF Carlos Gomez

OF Torii Hunter

OF/SS Junior Lake

OF/1B Daniel Nava

SP Cole Hamels

SP Yu Darvish

SP Jordan Zimmerman

SP Matt Moore

SP Mike Minor

SP John Lackey

SP Jhoulys Chacin

SP James Paxton

RP Joe Nathan

RP Jim Henderson

RP Grant Balfour

3/20 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of OF/1B Logan Morrison. To replace him OF Dominic Brown has been signed.

3/24 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 2B Omar Infante. To replace him 2B Neil Walker has been signed.

4/2 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of OF Colby Rasmus. To replace him OF/1B/3B Matt Carpenter has been signed.

4/7 – Miami Carlins have placed 1B Freddie Freeman on the disabled list. To replace him OF Franklin Gutierrez has been signed.

4/17 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Jarrod Parker. To replace him SP Ryan Dempster has been signed.

4/20 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of OF Domonic Brown. To replace him OF Daniel Nava has been signed.

4/22 – Miami Carlins have activated 1B Freddie Freeman from the Disabled List. The roster spot was made available as OF Jason Kubel was placed onto the Disabled List.

4/23 – Following an injury, the Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of OF Franklin Gutierrez. To replace him OF Carlos Gomez has been signed.

4/28 – Miami Carlins have activated OF Jason Kubel from the Disabled List. To make room for him on the roster, 3B Mike Moustakas has been released.

5/3 – Miami Carlins have placed 2B Neil Walker on the Disabled List. To replace him 2B/OF Ryan Raburn has been signed.

5/11 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SS Alexei Ramirez. To replace him SS Jhonny Peralta has been signed.

5/11 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 2B/OF Ryan Raburn. To replace him OF Alejandro De Aza has been signed.

5/15 – Miami Carlins have claimed OF Torii Hunter off waivers. To make room for him on the roster, OF Alejandro De Aza has been released.

5/19 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Ryan Dempster. To replace him SP A.J. Griffin has been signed.

5/25 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP A.J. Griffin. To replace him SP Jerome Williams has been signed.

5/30 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of OF Jason Kubel. To replace him SP Chris Tillman has been signed. In addition, OF Jayson Werth has been activated from the disabled list and RP J.J. Putz has been placed on it.

6/1 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Brandon Morrow. To replace him SP Jeremy Guthrie has been signed.

6/2 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Jerome Williams. To replace him 2B Jurickson Profar has been signed.

6/3 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Brandon League. To replace him RP Francisco Rodriguez has been signed.

6/7 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Chris Tillman. To replace him SP Tony Cingrani has been signed.

6/8 – Miami Carlins have claimed SP John Lackey off waivers. To make room for him on the roster, SP Jeremy Guthrie has been released.

6/13 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Tony Cingrani. To replace him SP Jake Westbrook has been signed.

6/15 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 2B Jurickson Profar. To replace him 3B Nolan Arenado has been signed.

6/17 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 3B Nolan Arenado. To replace him 3B Anthony Rendon has been signed.

6/21 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 2B Neil Walker. To replace him SP Jeremy Guthrie has been signed.

6/22 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Jeremy Guthrie. To replace him RP Josh Collmenter has been signed.

6/23 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Josh Collmenter. To replace him RP Brett Cecil has been signed.

7/1 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Francisco Rodriguez. To replace him RP J.J. Putz has been activated from the disabled list.

7/4 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP J.J. Putz. To replace him RP Francisco Rodriguez has been signed.

7/10 – Miami Carlins have placed SP Yu Darvish on the disabled list. To replace him RP Josh Collmenter has been signed.

7/11 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Brett Cecil. To replace him SP Jhoulys Chacin has been signed.

7/11 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Josh Collmenter. To replace him SP Jacob Turner has been signed.

7/21 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Jake Westbrook. To replace him SP Yu Darvish has been activated from the disabled list.

7/25 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of RP Francisco Rodriguez. To replace him RP Jim Henderson has been signed.

7/29 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Jacob Turner. To replace him SP Corey Kluber has been signed.

7/31 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 1B/OF Daniel Nava. To replace him 3B/SS Jose Iglesias has been signed.

7/31 – Miami Carlins have placed SP Matt Moore on the disabled list. To replace him SP Sam Dedundo has been signed.

8/2 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Sam Dedundo. To replace him SP Rick Porcello has been signed.

8/4 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Rick Porcello. To replace him SP Wade Miley has been signed.

8/5 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of C Salvador Perez. To replace him C Wilson Ramos has been signed.

8/5 – Miami Carlins SS Jhonny Peralta has been suspended for 50 games and then released. To replace him OF/1B Daniel Nava has been signed.

8/5 – Miami Carlins OF Nelson Cruz has been suspended for 50 games an then released. To replace him OF Michael Morse has been signed.

8/7 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Corey Kluber. To replace him SP Felix Doubront has been signed.

8/11 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of 2B Brian Roberts. To replace him 2B Omar Infante has been signed.

8/25 – Miami Carlins have claimed OF/SS Junior Lake off waivers. To make room for him on the roster, OF Michael Morse has been released.

9/2 – Miami Carlins have activated SP Matt Moore from the Disabled List. To make room for him on the roster, SP Felix Doubront has been released.

9/7 – Miami Carlins have agreed to the release of SP Wade Miley. To replace him SP James Paxton has been signed.

Week 1 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 329, Team Boyle 283

Player of the Week: Yu Darvish 56 points

Enemy of the Week: Chris Davis 49 points

Disappointment of the Week: Starlin Castro 6 points

Week 2 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 280, SI Hurricanes 237

Player of the Week: Andrew McCutchen 27 points

Enemy of the Week: Justin Upton 30 points

Disappointment of the Week: Nelson Cruz 2 points

Week 3 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 299, Drunkin’ Drafters 243

Player of the Week: Carlos Santana 22 points

Enemy of the Week: David Wright 39 points

Disappointment of the Week: Matt Carpenter 3 points

Week 4 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 346, The Fuzzy Taints 245

Player of the Week: Matt Moore 57 points

Enemy of the Week: Edwin Encarnacion 31 points

Disappointment of the Week: Andrew McCutchen 3 points

Week 5 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 364, Houston Asterisks 205

Player of the Week: Carlos Gomez 32 points

Enemy of the Week: Tim Hudson 50 points

Disappointment of the Week: Matt Moore 1 point

Week 6 Results: Don’t wanna talk about it

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages 312, Miami Carlins 263

Player of the Week: Mike Minor 24 points

Enemy of the Week: Adam Wainwright 39 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jason Kubel 0 points

Week 7 Results: This week shouldn’t count

Team Gold 310, Miami Carlins 266

Player of the Week: Andrew McCutchen 36 points

Enemy of the Week: Edward Mujica 30 points

Disappointment of the Week: Ian Kinsler 0 points and a trip to the disabled list

Week 8 Results: You’d never believe it…

Stone Cold 315, Miami Carlins 299

Player of the Week: Mike Minor 31 points

Enemy of the Week: Max Scherzer 54 points

Disappointment of the Week: Cole Hamels 30 points and two losses

Week 9 Results: Eye roll

Team Boyle 377, Miami Carlins 257

Player of the Week: Yu Darvish 44 points

Enemy of the Week: Cliff Lee 61 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jordan Zimmermann -2 points

Week 10 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 343, Cecil Cantrell 274

Player of the Week: Jordan Zimmermann 52 points

Enemy of the Week: Yoenis Cespedes 30 points

Disappointment of the Week: Pablo Sandoval -1 point

Week 11 Results: D’oh

Drunkin’ Drafters 287, Miami Carlins 267

Player of the Week: Carlos Gomez 29 points

Enemy of the Week: Jason Kipnis 29 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jake Westbrook 0 points

Week 12 Results: …

The Fuzzy Taints 287, Miami Carlins 274

Player of the Week: Nelson Cruz 31 points

Enemy of the Week: Edwin Encarnacian 38 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jeremy Guthrie -8 points

Week 13 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 293, Houston Asterisks 142

Player of the Week: Freddie Freeman 28 points

Enemy of the Week: Nick Swisher 22 points

Disappointment of the Week: Pablo Sandoval -4 points

Week 14 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 317, Si Hurricanes 157

Player of the Week: Matt Moore 51 points

Enemy of the Week: Bud Norris 21 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jhonny Peralta 2 points

Week 15 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 351, Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages 279

Player of the Week: Mike Minor 38 points

Enemy of the Week: Matt Garza 40 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jake Westbrook 6 points

Week 16 Results: An embarrasment

Team Gold 500, Miami Carlins 430

Players of the Week: Carlos Gomez 41 points

Enemy of the Week: Jose Fernandez 59 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jordan Zimmermann -4 points

Week 17 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 367, Stone Cold 255

Player of the Week: Freddie Freeman 37 points

Enemy of the Week: Shane Victorino 37 points

Disappointment of the Week: Allen Craig 3 points

Week 18 Results: Adam Jones ruined it all

Cecil Cantrell 279, Miami Carlins 269

Player of the Week: Freddie Freeman 25 points

Enemy of the Week: Adam Jones 34 points

Disappointment of the Week: Jordan Zimmermann 6 points

Week 19 Results: Win

Miami Carlins 291, Si Hurricanes 223

Player of the Week: Yu Darvish 54 points

Enemy of the Week: Joe Mauer 31 points

Disappointment of the Week: Shortstops Starlin Castro and Jose Iglesias combining for -4 points

Week 20 Results: This was the last one, I swear

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages 355, Miami Carlins 322

Player of the Week: Ian Kinsler 24 points

Enemy of the Week: Evan Longoria 33 points

Disappointment of the Week: Wade Miley 8 points plus twerking at the VMAs

Week 21 Results: It was a tough opponent and they did really well! Not my fault

Team Gold 346, Miami Carlins 290

Player of the Week: Jhoulys Chacin 32 points

Enemy of the Week: Brandon Moss 33 points

Disappointment of the Week: Grant Balfour 0 points, included a -10 performance

Week 22 Results: Dafuq?

Stone Cold 309, Miami Carlins 261

Player of the Week: Cole Hamels 55 points

Enemy of the Week: Ryan Zimmerman 31 points

Disappointment of the Week: Yu Darvish -2 points

Playoffs Round 1 Results: Eliminated!

Team Gold 324, Miami Carlins 290

Player of the Week: Jayson Werth 29 points

Enemy of the Week: Josh Donaldson 37 points

Disappointment of the Week: Mike Minor 3 points

Miami Carlins End of the Year Ceremony Nominations

Here are the nominees for the Miami Carlins Awards.

Player of the Year:

Andrew McCutchen

Matt Carpenter

Yu Darvish

Surprise of the Year:

Matt Carpenter

Jordan Zimmermann

Jayson Werth

Disappointment of the Year:

Starlin Castro

Pablo Sandoval

Nelson Cruz/Jhonny Peralta Suspension

Best Free Agent Signing/Waiver Claim:

Matt Carpenter 4/2

Carlos Gomez 4/23

Torii Hunter 5/15

Draft Pick Steal:

Grant Balfour Round 17 (165 overall)

Mike Minor Round 20 (196 overall)

Jayson Werth Round 24 (236 overall)

Player of the Week Wins: Jhoulys Chacin, Nelson Cruz, Yu Darvish (3), Freddie Freeman (3), Carlos Gomez (3), Cole Hamels (2), Ian Kinsler, Andrew McCutchen (2), Mike Minor (3), Matt Moore (2), Carlos Santana, Jayson Werth, Jordan Zimmermann

Enemy of the Week Wins: Yoenis Cespedes, Chris Davis, Josh Donaldson, Edwin Encarnacian (2), Jose Fernandez, Matt Garza, Tim Hudson, Adam Jones, Jason Kipnis, Cliff Lee, Evan Longoria, Joe Mauer, Brandon Moss, Edward Mujica, Bud Norris, Max Scherzer, Nick Swisher,  Justin Upton, Shane Victorino, Adam Wainwright, David Wright, Ryan Zimmerman

Disappointment of the Week Wins: Grant Balfour, Matt Carpenter, Starlin Castro (2), Allen Craig, Nelson Cruz, Yu Darvish, Jeremy Guthrie, Jose Iglesias, Ian Kinsler, Jason Kubel, Andrew McCutchen, Wade Miley, Mike Minor, Matt Moore, Jhonny Peralta, Pablo Sandoval (2), Jake Westbrook (2), Jordan Zimmermann (3)

Round 1 Playoff Results

I didn’t jump to post the results for a particular reason, it took me a week to leave my bedroom. The impossible happened. The Miami Carlins were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by Team Gold. The score of the game, 324-290.

The final awards for this week look like this. Player of the Week goes to Jayson Werth with 29 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Mike Minor with 3 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Josh Donaldson with 37 points.

There was only one other game this week that mattered, my dad Team Boyle against Stone Cold. Miraculously, Team Boyle pulled out the victory. Even better, Team Boyle in Round 2 is headed toward victory against Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. Their final score was 323-284. Imagine if my dad and I switched opponents. He would have just barely lost and I would have still been playing ball, actually winning too because JDVS is really getting their asses handed to them.

In Atlanta Slaves’ news…my minor league team has made it to the finals. Currently losing by a bit, the score is still pretty close in many categories. It’s going to come down to the wire for sure.

Next post, I will award the Miami Carlins postseason awards. I could wait until the end of the playoffs, but I know I will be so sad to see my dad beat everyone that I will lose the desire.

So Much Depends on the Weather

The Miami Carlins are close to being eliminated this week. One of the big reasons is because last night there was a long rain delay in Minnesota during Matt Moore’s start. Moore had been cruising before God intervened and poured down liquid hate from the sky. Moore only ended up pitching 3 innings, not even enough to pick up the win.

On the final day of the first round of the playoffs, the Miami Carlins trail Team Gold (am I really going to lose to a team with that name???) 278-241. It’s not completely over as Jordan Zimmermann pitches for the Carlins and Chris Sale pitches for Team Gold and apparently there is rain in the forecast in Cleveland, a team that Sale is 0-3 against this season anyway. The chance to continue playing fantasy baseball games that count is limited and I’m going to need my offensive to pick up the slack today. Allen Craig’s injury has hurt as well as the fall from grace Carlos Gomez has had. Most of all the team’s pitching hasn’t been consistent down the stretch. Oh well. At least my fantasy football team the Cleveland Drowns are already in first place.

cleveland drowns

A Look at the Playoff Picture

The playoffs have begun and this is how it looks:

Round 1:

Miami Carlins #6 vs. Team Gold #3

Team Boyle #5 vs. Stone Cold #4

First Round Byes:

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages #1

Drunkin’ Drafters #2

There is also a consolation round, which has no real point to it so I’m not sure why they bother other than people who hold grudges or if some leagues hand out prizes. Or maybe some leagues do something bad to the person who finishes in last. Either way, it looks like I will have to beat Team Gold in the first round, Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages in the second, and then take on a mystery team, hopefully Team Boyle because it would be fantastic if this came down to a family battle. However it turns out, let’s just hope I win.

Week 22 Results

As fatalistically predicted, the Miami Carlins suffered a traumatic loss at the hands of Stone Cold, 309-261. The playoffs have already begun with the Carlins in the sixth and final playoff spot. Pretty amazing considering a win in Week 22 would have given America’s Favorite Fantasy Baseball team a first round bye. That shows you just how close this is.

Player of the Week goes to Cole Hamels with 55 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Ryan Zimmerman who notched 31 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Yu Darvish with -2 points. Wade Miley had a -10 performance, but at this point I expect negativity from people with the name Miley.

miley-cyrus-billboard-mid-year-awards-nominee(I dare her to name one other player from the Chicago Bulls ever)

Let’s announce some scores from around the league:

Houston Asterisks beat Cecil Cantrell in a meaningless game, 302-270

Team Boyle snuck into the playoffs with a win over Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages, 303-262

Team Gold knocked The Fuzzy Taints’ chances at making the post season by beating them 283-212

Drunkin’ Drafters got lucky and faced Si Hurricanes in the final week, giving them a first round bye after a 227-151 victory

I will get to the playoff picture in another post as it will up my blog stats, slightly. Let’s instead give a brief announcement for the Atlanta Slaves:

The Atlanta Slaves finished the regular season in 2nd place. It was a tight battle between the top 3 spots and the 4th and final playoff position came down to a half game victory. It will take only two wins to become the league champion where I will win a ring. Just what I want, this guy after me.

gollum

The Miami Carlins finished with a pitiful 11-11 record after a tremendous 5-0 start. Blame can be placed on Nelson Cruz and Jhonny Peralta. Blame will not be placed on them though as it always comes down to the manager, me. All this means now is that we are the underdogs.

It’s Going To Take…

What’s it going to take tomorrow for the Miami Carlins to win the first round bye?

Right now the Carlins trail Stone Cold 224-216. Stone Cold still has 2 starts yet, but only one starter scheduled for tomorrow thanks to a Felix Hernandez injury. Bartolo Colon will pitch against Houston. The last time Colon faced the hapless Houston team he earned 0 fantasy baseball points. Cole Hamels will pitch for the Carlins tomorrow against the Braves, a team he has seen plenty over the years.

So what’s it going to take? Hopefully Stone Cold doesn’t realize King Felix is injured. The beginning of football season may help. A bad start by Colon, a nice one by Hamels, and a Miami Carlins offensive explosion are what it will take. Worst case scenario, I lose this week and have to play Team Gold next week in the first round of the playoffs.  Considering they gave me a hard time all season, I’m hoping Hamels can hold the Braves hitless for 9 innings and Bartolo Colon finally gets suspended for cheating. Too bad he never knew you were supposed to lift weights when you take steroids.

bartolo colon(I suppose when your name is Colon you are destined for making mistakes)

Pablo Sandoval You Fat S.O.B. I Love You

Pablo Sandoval has finally contributed. Last night, Miami Carlins third baseman and competitive eater Pablo Sandoval hit three home runs totally 25 points. After a Yu Darvish -1 pitching performance, Sandoval has helped the Carlins get back in it this week.

The score is currently tied at 141, the Carlins having used 5 starts and Stone Cold having used 4. It’s going to take a few good pitching performances and maybe even another fat bastard hitting three home runs. As it currently looks, Mike Minor and Cole Hamels will get the last two starts for the Carlins before the postseason begins next Monday. The Carlins pretty much need this win to secure a first round bye. A playoff spot, if my math is correct, has been secured since the Carlins have the tie-breaker over most teams.

For now though, let’s celebrate Pablo Sandoval. The next hamburger is on me kid.

Pablo Sandoval

Week 21 Results

I didn’t do any updates this week because 1) I’ve become very busy and 2) I don’t want anyone knowing how much I suck. Team Gold rolled over my Miami Carlins. We barely stood a chance. The final score was 346-290. Fortunately by the end of yesterday I wasn’t the second top scoring team, which would have made things a lot more frustrating.

Player of the Week goes to Jhoulys Chacin with 32 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Brandon Moss with 33 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Grant Balfour who had 3 saves yet finished with 0 points this week due to a blown save/loss combination.

Let’s take a look at scores from around the league:

Houston Asterisks played spoiler, defeating Stone Cold 326-262

Team Boyle got into the final playoff spot with a 228-168 win over Si Hurricanes

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages decided to help me out with a 300-235 win over The Fuzzy Taints

Drunkin’ Drafter all but eliminated Cecil Cantrell from the post season by defeating them 300-240

The Miami Carlins still have the second bye week and in order to keep it a few things will have to happen. The Carlins will need to either 1) Win or 2) Need Drunkin’ Drafters and Team Boyle to lose. I have done the math and it is almost impossible for the Carlins to not at least make the playoff, even if in the final position.

Some brief Atlanta Slaves news:

The Slaves have officially clinched a playoff spot! Right now the Slaves are 2 games behind two teams tied in first place. There is still a strong battle for the final playoff spot in the league, but the struggle for the Slaves is over, at least until next week.

This is the final week for both the Miami Carlins and the Atlanta Slaves. Both teams will make the playoffs, since the Carlins will win the tie-breakers thanks to their high-scoring ways. This final week matches the Carlins against Stone Cold, a team in a similar position as the Carlins, except they are so far out they will not get a bye week. Stone Cold ignored my trade request so this is a little personal for me. I have a chance to ruin his summer.

pip rain stayed away!

Week 20 Results

We’re nearing the end of the season and the playoffs are less than 2 weeks away. If I have my way, in 2 week the Miami Carlins will have a bye week. Week 20 didn’t help any as the Miami Carlins lost the Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages 355-322.

Player of the Week honors go to Ian Kinsler with 24 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Evan Longoria with 33 points aka the amount I lost by. Disappointment of the Week goes to Wade Miley with 8 points. It was a close battle for this award and I almost gave it to the Starlin Castro/Jose Iglesias combo. Miley wins it because he couldn’t even beat the Phillies and because of his twerking performance at the VMAs.

miley-cyrus-twerking

 

Now for scores from around the league:

Houston Asterisks fought Team Gold and earned a win, 320-293

Team Boyle snuck their way back into a possible playoff spot with a 309-216 win over Cecil Cantrell

Stone Cold narrowed out Drunkin’ Drafters 274-256

Si Hurricanes got their first win since…I can’t count that high. They beat The Fuzzy Taints, 342-243

Now for Atlanta Slaves news:

The Slaves lost their first place position, but are only 3.5 games out of first. The playoffs are near inevitable, unless there is an epic collapse. The only prize in this league is a ring and I have gross fingers so I’m going more for pride.

This week the Miami Carlins face off against Team Gold. Already the Carlins trail 46-26, but still have all 7 starts while Team Gold has already used one. The way I see it, one more win and the Carlins clinch a playoff bye. Most likely The Fuzzy Taints and Drunkin’ Drafters will not catch-up in points scored, the first tie-breaker used to determine playoff positioning. Here’s hoping the Carlins can close this thing out a week early.

10 Things Two Men Should Never Do Together

The final ruling came down and Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages was given the win over the Houston Asterisks instead of the tie. It doesn’t matter. I still say they engage in incestuous activities.  They manage a fantasy baseball team together. That’s weird.

We enter Sunday with the Miami Carlins trailing the Bosom Buddies 310-286. Matt Garza pitches for Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages and Mike Minor makes the final start for the Miami Carlins. The Carlins are going to have to make up a lot of points offensively to overtake JDVS and pick up the win.

I also wanted to do a brief list here of 10 things two men should never do together without raising an eyebrow, inspired by running a fantasy baseball team.

1) Own a cat

2) Bathe in a lake

3) Go on a cruise

4) Go clothes shopping

5) Proctology appointments

6) Swap underpants

7) Sleep on the same one-person cot

8) Sit on Santa’s lap

9) Work on their abs

10) Share a sandwich

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