Category: Kansas City Royals

More News on Fat People

Miami Carlins starting third baseman has been getting a lot of attention this Spring Training. He’s not tearing it up on the field or anything. The only thing he’s tearing apart are Kit Kats. Once again I find an article online blasting me in the face about Sandoval’s weight.

pablo sandoval fat

Sandoval who the article claims is approximately 282 pounds at this point, is giving himself two years before he has to alter his diet. He’s waiting until he turns 30 to start losing weight. Huh? That’s two years of your career where you can focus on getting in better shape. If he starts today then by the time he is 30 he will be better than ever. I don’t understand this fat man’s logic.

Sandoval’s stubbornness to care about his own body frustrates me and I am sure it upsets San Francisco Giants’s manager Bruce Bochy even more.

“Pablo is so incredibly fat it’s sickening.” Bochy never said but probably thought. “When he comes into camp with his big fat stomach hanging over I want to send the bullpen out to punch him until he pukes out a few pounds.”

Being overweight has become acceptable in baseball. Detroit Tigers first baseman Prince Fielder has had lots of success being a big fat mess like his estranged father Cecil. The big difference between Fielder and Sandoval though is where they play on the field. Sandoval is a third baseman. This is a position that requires a lot more range and movement than first base. Sandoval was even too fat to be a catcher. How is someone too fat to squat down and not run anywhere? It’s the position where all the fat kids play.

“I tried giving him some advice on how to curb the cravings.” teammate Tim Lincecum never said. “I smoke a lot of pot, 420 BABY!!!, so I understand what it’s like to have this uncontrollable urges to be lazy and do nothing but eat. Pablo doesn’t have that excuse. The guy just eats because it’s what he does best.”

Waiting in the dugout in case Sandoval is not ready to go this season is Miami Carlins backup third baseman Mike Moustakas of the Kansas City Royals. If asked by reporters what he thought about entering the starting lineup, Moustakas would have probably said, “Wow, I have never been interviewed for anything ever before in my entire life. It’s pretty lonely here in Kansas City. Most people don’t even know there’s a team here.”