Category: Team Atlanta Slaves

Round 1 Playoff Results

I didn’t jump to post the results for a particular reason, it took me a week to leave my bedroom. The impossible happened. The Miami Carlins were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by Team Gold. The score of the game, 324-290.

The final awards for this week look like this. Player of the Week goes to Jayson Werth with 29 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Mike Minor with 3 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Josh Donaldson with 37 points.

There was only one other game this week that mattered, my dad Team Boyle against Stone Cold. Miraculously, Team Boyle pulled out the victory. Even better, Team Boyle in Round 2 is headed toward victory against Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. Their final score was 323-284. Imagine if my dad and I switched opponents. He would have just barely lost and I would have still been playing ball, actually winning too because JDVS is really getting their asses handed to them.

In Atlanta Slaves’ news…my minor league team has made it to the finals. Currently losing by a bit, the score is still pretty close in many categories. It’s going to come down to the wire for sure.

Next post, I will award the Miami Carlins postseason awards. I could wait until the end of the playoffs, but I know I will be so sad to see my dad beat everyone that I will lose the desire.

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Week 21 Results

I didn’t do any updates this week because 1) I’ve become very busy and 2) I don’t want anyone knowing how much I suck. Team Gold rolled over my Miami Carlins. We barely stood a chance. The final score was 346-290. Fortunately by the end of yesterday I wasn’t the second top scoring team, which would have made things a lot more frustrating.

Player of the Week goes to Jhoulys Chacin with 32 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Brandon Moss with 33 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Grant Balfour who had 3 saves yet finished with 0 points this week due to a blown save/loss combination.

Let’s take a look at scores from around the league:

Houston Asterisks played spoiler, defeating Stone Cold 326-262

Team Boyle got into the final playoff spot with a 228-168 win over Si Hurricanes

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages decided to help me out with a 300-235 win over The Fuzzy Taints

Drunkin’ Drafter all but eliminated Cecil Cantrell from the post season by defeating them 300-240

The Miami Carlins still have the second bye week and in order to keep it a few things will have to happen. The Carlins will need to either 1) Win or 2) Need Drunkin’ Drafters and Team Boyle to lose. I have done the math and it is almost impossible for the Carlins to not at least make the playoff, even if in the final position.

Some brief Atlanta Slaves news:

The Slaves have officially clinched a playoff spot! Right now the Slaves are 2 games behind two teams tied in first place. There is still a strong battle for the final playoff spot in the league, but the struggle for the Slaves is over, at least until next week.

This is the final week for both the Miami Carlins and the Atlanta Slaves. Both teams will make the playoffs, since the Carlins will win the tie-breakers thanks to their high-scoring ways. This final week matches the Carlins against Stone Cold, a team in a similar position as the Carlins, except they are so far out they will not get a bye week. Stone Cold ignored my trade request so this is a little personal for me. I have a chance to ruin his summer.

pip rain stayed away!

Week 20 Results

We’re nearing the end of the season and the playoffs are less than 2 weeks away. If I have my way, in 2 week the Miami Carlins will have a bye week. Week 20 didn’t help any as the Miami Carlins lost the Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages 355-322.

Player of the Week honors go to Ian Kinsler with 24 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Evan Longoria with 33 points aka the amount I lost by. Disappointment of the Week goes to Wade Miley with 8 points. It was a close battle for this award and I almost gave it to the Starlin Castro/Jose Iglesias combo. Miley wins it because he couldn’t even beat the Phillies and because of his twerking performance at the VMAs.

miley-cyrus-twerking

 

Now for scores from around the league:

Houston Asterisks fought Team Gold and earned a win, 320-293

Team Boyle snuck their way back into a possible playoff spot with a 309-216 win over Cecil Cantrell

Stone Cold narrowed out Drunkin’ Drafters 274-256

Si Hurricanes got their first win since…I can’t count that high. They beat The Fuzzy Taints, 342-243

Now for Atlanta Slaves news:

The Slaves lost their first place position, but are only 3.5 games out of first. The playoffs are near inevitable, unless there is an epic collapse. The only prize in this league is a ring and I have gross fingers so I’m going more for pride.

This week the Miami Carlins face off against Team Gold. Already the Carlins trail 46-26, but still have all 7 starts while Team Gold has already used one. The way I see it, one more win and the Carlins clinch a playoff bye. Most likely The Fuzzy Taints and Drunkin’ Drafters will not catch-up in points scored, the first tie-breaker used to determine playoff positioning. Here’s hoping the Carlins can close this thing out a week early.

Week 19 Results

The Miami Carlins won during Week 19 and what else is there to say? We have made it hell for the Si Hurricanes this season, beating them all three times. I will show some mercy and just get onto the weekly wrap-up. The final score was 291-223 by the way. Thought I should let you know how flattened they are.

Player of the Week goes to Yu Darvish who finished with 54 points, mostly because of his pitching performance on Monday which netted him 40 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Starlin Castro and Jose Iglesias who combined for -4 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Joe Mauer with 31 points. Thank goodness he’s on the Atlanta Slaves.

Scores from around the league time? I think so:

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages narrowly beat out the Houston Asterisk 302-297

Team Boyle pushed closer to .500 with a 297-240 win over Stone Cold

The Fuzzy Taints got themselves back over .500 with a win over Cecil Cantrell, 316-274

Team Gold did my team a favor by beating Drunkin’ Drafters, 288-260

New from the Atlanta Slaves? Let’s get on with it!

The Atlanta Slaves are back in first place by a half game. What more is there to say? We’ve been consistent and with the playoffs only a few weeks away we look to win the prize the league is giving out, nothing.

Week 20 sees the Miami Carlins facing the hated rivals Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. We’re off to a bad start this week, much thanks to team captain Jordan Zimmermann. What happened to that guy? I blame his brother George.

George Zimmerman

 

Bill Paxton Says It All

I haven’t updated this week at all because 1) I have been busy and 2) There has been nothing good to report on at all. Right now after both the Miami Carlins and Cecil Cantrell have used 6 of their 7 starts, the score is a hefty 200-137. I said there was nothing good to report so take a guess who has the fatter number.

The only hope now is for the Carlins to get a perfect game, Cecil Cantrell to get a negative pitching performance, and just about everyone in every game hits for the cycle. Things aren’t going well at all in Atlanta Slaves territory as the team is hitting only .199 this week. I also forgot to adjust the roster today and missed out on a 3 for 5 day for Marco Scutaro. I suck. I am putting life ahead of fantasy baseball.

Bill Paxton says it all…

Week 17 Results

Week 17 was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I’ll be Hollywood and cut to the chase. The Miami Carlins defeated Stone Cold 367-255. In the few posts I did this week I basically said why the score was the way it was. The Carlins were great and Stone Cold simply was not.

Player of the Week goes to Freddie Freeman with 37 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Shane Victorino who also had 37 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Allen Craig who only totaled 3 points in his time he spent in the lineup which was every day except the day he scored 14 points. Ugh.

Now for scores from around the league:

Cecil Cantrell narrowed out Houston Asterisk 237-227

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages made Team Boyle’s life miserable, beating them 367-236

Team Gold moved up to the third place in the league with a win over The Fuzzy Taints, 289-261

Drunkin’ Drafters piled on the points against Si Hurricanes with a final score 291-207

Now for Atlanta Slaves news:

The Atlanta Slaves are back in first place! It’s only by 2.5 games, but still something to celebrate.

This week the Miami Carlins will play Cecil Cantrell, the team that the Miami Carlins beat before to end their bad losing streak midseason. It’s important to pick up as many wins down the stretch. The way I see it, two more wins secures a playoff spot, but of course that’s not good enough. Right now the Carlins have a one game lead over The Fuzzy Taints for the West Division lead, something I hope to keep.

Week 16 Results

The weeks where I get off to a nice start then lose are the worst. Week 16 was one of those weeks. The final score was an eye-pleasing 500-430. Bad pitching for the Carlins plus good pitching for Team Gold contributed to this lopsided score.  I’m tired and sad and don’t want to analyze things anymore. Team Gold has the distinction of being the only team to be the Carlins twice this season. We face off one more time, and you better believe I will be ready.

Player of the Week goes to Carlos Gomez with 41 points. Enemy of the Week goes to the recently acquired Jose Fernandez who earned 59 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Jordan Zimmermann who after two starts finished with -4 points, including one start being -14 points.

The scores from around the league look like this:

Stone Cold beat Houston Asterisks 529-426

Team Boyle got to .500 with a 478-358 victory

Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages got back to their winning ways with a 536-510 victory over The Fuzzy Taints

Drunkin’ Drafters squeezed their way into a potential playoff spot by beating Cecil Cantrell 536-458

New from the Atlanta Slaves:

The Slaves are now only 2 games back of the division lead. After a few trades to balance out the team, adding speed and batting average, the Slaves look to be a real threat in the playoffs.

This week the Miami Carlins will face off against Stone Cold. Last time around Stone Cold picked up a late week victory. This time around, I’m going to have to “heat it up” and “chill them out.” Is it obvious that I’m rushing this by adding puns?