Tagged: chris sale

So Much Depends on the Weather

The Miami Carlins are close to being eliminated this week. One of the big reasons is because last night there was a long rain delay in Minnesota during Matt Moore’s start. Moore had been cruising before God intervened and poured down liquid hate from the sky. Moore only ended up pitching 3 innings, not even enough to pick up the win.

On the final day of the first round of the playoffs, the Miami Carlins trail Team Gold (am I really going to lose to a team with that name???) 278-241. It’s not completely over as Jordan Zimmermann pitches for the Carlins and Chris Sale pitches for Team Gold and apparently there is rain in the forecast in Cleveland, a team that Sale is 0-3 against this season anyway. The chance to continue playing fantasy baseball games that count is limited and I’m going to need my offensive to pick up the slack today. Allen Craig’s injury has hurt as well as the fall from grace Carlos Gomez has had. Most of all the team’s pitching hasn’t been consistent down the stretch. Oh well. At least my fantasy football team the Cleveland Drowns are already in first place.

cleveland drowns



I have been so busy with work that I didn’t get a chance to check what was going on with the Miami Carlins. The fright when I finally did see the results still has me scared stiff.

The Miami Carlins lost their lead to Team Gold. Still, it’s close. Real close. 359-352 close. Both teams have used 11 of their 14 starts too. An extra save can change things. Or you know, a not blown save which I am starting to feel may come back to bite me.

For the Carlins Yu Darvish, Jhoulys Chacin, and Matt Moore will still pitch. Team Gold will toss Chris Sale, Chris Archer, and Jose Fernandez on the mound. If we got bonus points for having pitchers with funny names the Carlins would win. We don’t though. That’s too subjective.

hiram(Hiram Bocachica, the greatest name ever)

Also please check out something I wrote for Yahoo.

Now Mike Trout Starts Hitting

Mike Trout was the number one overall pick in our draft. So far this season he hasn’t warranted the number one pick. This week though, he’s climbed up higher into the player points standings, placed only behind Miguel Cabrera (no surprise there) and Shin Soo-Choo (umm wow). And now of course when Mike Trout is really heating up he’s up against me, the Miami Carlins.

This week is not in complete dire straits. There are still two starts and a whole weekend for the Miami Carlins to make up ground. The score currently rests at 193-183 in favor of Team Gold. To further show you has a lot to do with bad luck, Team Gold is the top scoring team this week. After losing their first two weeks, Team Gold has been on a hot streak. I was hoping to cool them off and still believe it can happen.

This has been the closest week so far for all of the games since Week 1. The only positive to come from a Team Gold victory would be that every underdog wins this week, as long as nothing changes. A loss for the Miami Carlins means a lot more though. We will then be tied in second place with Team Gold for second place in the standings. Well, actually we’ll be in third place because Team Gold will own the tie-breaker with the victory. A Miami Carlins win and everything else stays the same, the Miami Carlins will still be in second place, tied with an even record with Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. See how complicated things get once you a lose a game?

Nobody will be pitching today for the Miami Carlins. I’m still not sure exactly who I will be going with, but it looks like Jordan Zimmermann and Ryan Dempster. Zimmermann goes against the San Diego Padres and Dempster goes against the Minnesota Twins. Both also have good statistics against the offense of those team, batting averages in the low .200s. It’s always important to look this up when you’re faced with such a situation. I’m not starting Brandon Morrow because he hasn’t pitched in about a week and a half because of an injury. I’m not pitching Matt Moore because he has struggled lately and even worse, the Baltimore Orioles perform well against him. My other option is Mike Minor against the Los Angeles Dodgers. I’m not going with Mike Minor for reasons I already looked up. I would have to exit out of everything and look them up again because the radio station I was streaming always seems to crash my Internet. Can anything go right this week? Can Mike Trout get caught with steroids and have his statistics stripped away?

Pitching today for Team Gold will be Chris Sale of the Chicago White Sox. Sale is 6’6 180 pounds which is insane because I’m 5 pounds lighter and about 9 inches shorter. Hopefully that lanky bastard gets taken out of the first inning. He’s pitching against the Angels too. Maybe a bench clearing brawl that ends with him and Mike Trout knocking each other unconscious?



(Chicago White Sox pitcher Chris Sale)

Draft Results

Here is a long list you would have to be obsessed with me to look over. Our drat was completed with me having the number 5 pick. You will see I clearly made the best picks and have the best team name. I managed to fill up all the slots I needed. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the other owners to beg to make a trade with me.

I would analyze the draft, but why? The season hasn’t started, I’m not getting paid, and the teams will change a lot before opening day. I’m also not an expert and anything I say, like the other “experts” or “sexperts” as I like to call them to be silly because most fantasy baseball experts are known perverts, will be mostly nonsense.

Throughout the season I plan to update any transactions the Miami Carlins make. After all, this blog is from my point of view. I should not be concerned with what other men do.

To throw in some simple trash talk as I hope to do plenty of this season, I will say Team Gold clearly had the worst draft. I’m not sure how many rounds he was actually selecting during because he had to leave to lower some lotion in a basket down a hole.

I don’t know much about the guy. Mike Trout was not the worst first pick. It certainly was not the correct one. His second pick was Chris “What Have I Ever Done” Sale followed up by Giancarlo “I Have No Talent Around Me” Stanton. The only pick he stole away from me was Paul Goldschmidt which was not a big deal because I already had first base set up with Allen Craig and Freddie Freeman. It’s never good when you have to auto-draft. Team Gold proved once again being a creepy serial killer who kidnaps women (yes I’m accusing him of this) will take away more important responsibilities, like picking a good team.


(Actual photograph of Team Gold’s owner)

Round: 1
(1) Team Gold – Mike Trout CF
(2) The   Fuzzy Taints – Miguel Cabrera 3B
(3) SI Hurricanes – Ryan Braun LF
(4) Houston Asterisks – Robinson Cano 2B
** (5) Miami Carlins – Andrew McCutchen CF
(6) Drunkin’ Drafter – Justin Verlander SP
(7) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Clayton Kershaw SP
(8) Cecil  Cantrell – Albert Pujols 1B
(9) Stone  Cold – Felix Hernandez SP
(10) Team boyle – Matt Kemp CF

Round: 2
(11) Team boyle – Stephen Strasburg SP
(12) Stone  Cold – Prince Fielder 1B
(13) Cecil  Cantrell – Matt Cain SP
(14) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Joey Votto 1B
(15) Drunkin’ Drafter – David Price SP
** (16) Miami Carlins – Cole Hamels SP
(17) Houston Asterisks – Troy Tulowitzki SS
(18) SI Hurricanes – Carlos Gonzalez LF
(19) The   Fuzzy Taints – Josh Hamilton CF
(20) Team Gold – Chris Sale SP

Round: 3
(21) Team Gold – Giancarlo Stanton RF
(22) The   Fuzzy Taints – Jered Weaver SP
(23) SI Hurricanes – Gio Gonzalez SP
(24) Houston Asterisks – Zack Greinke SP
** (25) Miami Carlins – Ian Kinsler 2B
(26) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jose Bautista RF
(27) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Madison Bumgarner SP
(28) Cecil  Cantrell – Craig Kimbrel RP
(29) Stone  Cold – Buster Posey C
(30) Team boyle – Cliff Lee SP

Round: 4
(31) Team boyle – Adrian Beltre 3B
(32) Stone  Cold – Jay Bruce RF
(33) Cecil  Cantrell – CC Sabathia SP
(34) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Evan Longoria 3B
(35) Drunkin’ Drafter – David Wright 3B
** (36) Miami Carlins – Starlin Castro SS
(37) Houston Asterisks – Yadier Molina C
(38) SI Hurricanes – Brandon Phillips 2B
(39) The   Fuzzy Taints – Edwin Encarnacion 1B
(40) Team Gold – Hanley Ramirez 3B

Round: 5
(41) Team Gold – Johnny Cueto SP
(42) The   Fuzzy Taints – R.A. Dickey SP
(43) SI Hurricanes – Justin Upton RF
(44) Houston Asterisks – Roy Halladay SP
** (45) Miami Carlins – Yu Darvish SP
(46) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jose Reyes SS
(47) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Adam Wainwright SP
(48) Cecil  Cantrell – Adam Jones CF
(49) Stone  Cold – Max Scherzer SP
(50) Team boyle – Bryce Harper CF

Round: 6
(51) Team boyle – Kris Medlen SP
(52) Stone  Cold – Ben Zobrist RF
(53) Cecil  Cantrell – Chase Headley 3B
(54) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Ian Desmond SS
(55) Drunkin’ Drafter – James Shields SP
** (56) Miami Carlins – Allen Craig 1B
(57) Houston Asterisks – Brett Lawrie 3B
(58) SI Hurricanes – Aroldis Chapman SP
(59) The   Fuzzy Taints – Billy Butler 1B
(60) Team Gold – Mat Latos SP

Round: 7
(61) Team Gold – Dustin Pedroia 2B
(62) The   Fuzzy Taints – Matt Holliday LF
(63) SI Hurricanes – Joe Mauer C
(64) Houston Asterisks – Adrian Gonzalez 1B
** (65) Miami Carlins – Jordan Zimmermann SP
(66) Drunkin’ Drafter – Victor Martinez C
(67) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jason Heyward RF
(68) Cecil  Cantrell – Yoenis Cespedes LF
(69) Stone  Cold – Yovani Gallardo SP
(70) Team boyle – Paul Konerko 1B

Round: 8
(71) Team boyle – Hiroki Kuroda SP
(72) Stone  Cold – Ryan Zimmerman 3B
(73) Cecil  Cantrell – Matt Wieters C
(74) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jacoby Ellsbury CF
(75) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jason Kipnis 2B
** (76) Miami Carlins – Carlos Santana C
(77) Houston Asterisks – Austin Jackson CF
(78) SI Hurricanes – Aramis Ramirez 3B
(79) The   Fuzzy Taints – Aaron Hill 2B
(80) Team Gold – Mark Trumbo LF

Round: 9
(81) Team Gold – Asdrubal Cabrera SS
(82) The   Fuzzy Taints – Mariano Rivera RP
(83) SI Hurricanes – Elvis Andrus SS
(84) Houston Asterisks – Jonathan Papelbon RP
** (85) Miami Carlins – Matt Moore SP
(86) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jason Motte RP
(87) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Sergio Romo RP
(88) Cecil  Cantrell – Jimmy Rollins SS
(89) Stone  Cold – Rafael Soriano RP
(90) Team boyle – Mike Napoli C

Round: 10
(91) Team boyle – Fernando Rodney RP
(92) Stone  Cold – Josh Willingham LF
(93) Cecil  Cantrell – Dan Haren SP
(94) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jake Peavy SP
(95) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jim Johnson RP
** (96) Miami Carlins – Pablo Sandoval 3B
(97) Houston Asterisks – Michael Bourn CF
(98) SI Hurricanes – Josh Johnson SP
(99) The   Fuzzy Taints – Derek Jeter SS
(100) Team Gold – Lance Lynn SP

Round: 11
(101) Team Gold – Ian Kennedy SP
(102) The   Fuzzy Taints – Tim Lincecum SP
(103) SI Hurricanes – Ike Davis 1B
(104) Houston Asterisks – Tim Hudson SP
** (105) Miami Carlins – Joe Nathan RP
(106) Drunkin’ Drafter – Ryan Howard 1B
(107) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – John Axford RP
(108) Cecil  Cantrell – Chase Utley 2B
(109) Stone  Cold – Erick Aybar SS
(110) Team boyle – B.J. Upton CF

Round: 12
(111) Team boyle – Addison Reed RP
(112) Stone  Cold – Greg Holland RP
(113) Cecil  Cantrell – Shin-Soo Choo RF
(114) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – A.J. Pierzynski C
(115) Drunkin’ Drafter – Martin Prado LF
** (116) Miami Carlins – Freddie Freeman 1B
(117) Houston Asterisks – Adam LaRoche 1B
(118) SI Hurricanes – J.J. Hardy SS
(119) The   Fuzzy Taints – Brian McCann C
(120) Team Gold – Brandon McCarthy SP

Round: 13
(121) Team Gold – Wilin Rosario C
(122) The   Fuzzy Taints – Jonathan Broxton RP
(123) SI Hurricanes – Jon Lester SP
(124) Houston Asterisks – Nick Swisher RF
** (125) Miami Carlins – Brandon Morrow SP
(126) Drunkin’ Drafter – C.J. Wilson SP
(127) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Marco Scutaro 2B
(128) Cecil  Cantrell – Anthony Rizzo 1B
(129) Stone  Cold – Derek Holland SP
(130) Team boyle – Dan Uggla 2B

Round: 14
(131) Team boyle – Doug Fister SP
(132) Stone  Cold – Shane Victorino CF
(133) Cecil  Cantrell – Joel Hanrahan RP
(134) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jonathon Niese SP
(135) Drunkin’ Drafter – Alex Rios RF
** (136) Miami Carlins – J.J. Putz RP
(137) Houston Asterisks – Homer Bailey SP
(138) SI Hurricanes – Desmond Jennings LF
(139) The   Fuzzy Taints – Alexi Ogando SP
(140) Team Gold – Paul Goldschmidt 1B

Round: 15
(141) Team Gold – Alex Gordon LF
(142) The   Fuzzy Taints – David Freese 3B
(143) SI Hurricanes – Melky Cabrera LF
(144) Houston Asterisks – Hunter Pence RF
** (145) Miami Carlins – Nelson Cruz RF
(146) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jason Grilli RP
(147) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Carlos Beltran RF
(148) Cecil  Cantrell – Matt Harvey SP
(149) Stone  Cold – Eric Hosmer 1B
(150) Team boyle – Jed Lowrie SS

Round: 16
(151) Team boyle – Rafael Betancourt RP
(152) Stone  Cold – Angel Pagan CF
(153) Cecil  Cantrell – Ryan Vogelsong SP
(154) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Lance Berkman 1B
(155) Drunkin’ Drafter – Alfonso Soriano LF
** (156) Miami Carlins – Mike Moustakas 3B
(157) Houston Asterisks – Huston Street RP
(158) SI Hurricanes – Hisashi Iwakuma SP
(159) The   Fuzzy Taints – Ichiro Suzuki RF
(160) Team Gold – Jose Altuve 2B

Round: 17
(161) Team Gold – Carlos Gomez CF
(162) The   Fuzzy Taints – Ryan Madson RP
(163) SI Hurricanes – Brett Myers SP
(164) Houston Asterisks – Chris Perez RP
** (165) Miami Carlins – Grant Balfour RP
(166) Drunkin’ Drafter – A.J. Burnett SP
(167) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jesus Montero C
(168) Cecil  Cantrell – Andre Ethier RF
(169) Stone  Cold – Bruce Rondon RP
(170) Team boyle – Matt Harrison SP

Round: 18
(171) Team boyle – Michael Morse LF
(172) Stone  Cold – Kevin Youkilis 3B
(173) Cecil  Cantrell – Curtis Granderson CF
(174) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Michael Young 1B
(175) Drunkin’ Drafter – Justin Morneau 1B
** (176) Miami Carlins – Jason Kubel LF
(177) Houston Asterisks – Gavin Floyd SP
(178) SI Hurricanes – Torii Hunter RF
(179) The   Fuzzy Taints – Ernesto Frieri RP
(180) Team Gold – Anibal Sanchez SP

Round: 19
(181) Team Gold – Neil Walker 2B
(182) The   Fuzzy Taints – Mark Teixeira 1B
(183) SI Hurricanes – David Robertson RP
(184) Houston Asterisks – Joe Blanton SP
** (185) Miami Carlins – Jarrod Parker SP
(186) Drunkin’ Drafter – Miguel Montero C
(187) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Kenley Jansen RP
(188) Cecil  Cantrell – Howard Kendrick 2B
(189) Stone  Cold – Dustin Ackley 2B
(190) Team boyle – Chris Davis 1B

Round: 20
(191) Team boyle – Phil Hughes SP
(192) Stone  Cold – Josh Reddick RF
(193) Cecil  Cantrell – Manny Machado 3B
(194) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jeff Samardzija SP
(195) Drunkin’ Drafter – Josh Rutledge SS
** (196) Miami Carlins – Mike Minor SP
(197) Houston Asterisks – Coco Crisp CF
(198) SI Hurricanes – Brett Gardner LF
(199) The   Fuzzy Taints – Danny Espinosa 2B
(200) Team Gold – Alejandro De Aza CF

Round: 21
(201) Team Gold – Ben Revere RF
(202) The   Fuzzy Taints – Todd Frazier 3B
(203) SI Hurricanes – Carl Crawford LF
(204) Houston Asterisks – Adam Eaton CF
** (205) Miami Carlins – Salvador Perez C
(206) Drunkin’ Drafter – Josh Beckett SP
(207) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jeff Keppinger 3B
(208) Cecil  Cantrell – Tommy Hanson SP
(209) Stone  Cold – J.P. Arencibia C
(210) Team boyle – Matt Joyce RF

Round: 22
(211) Team boyle – Zack Cozart SS
(212) Stone  Cold – Edwin Jackson SP
(213) Cecil  Cantrell – Tom Wilhelmsen RP
(214) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Mark Buehrle SP
(215) Drunkin’ Drafter – Will Middlebrooks 3B
** (216) Miami Carlins – Alexei Ramirez SS
(217) Houston Asterisks – Trevor Cahill SP
(218) SI Hurricanes – Brett Anderson SP
(219) The   Fuzzy Taints – Ivan Nova SP
(220) Team Gold – Alcides Escobar SS

Round: 23
(221) Team Gold – Wade Miley SP
(222) The   Fuzzy Taints – Dayan Viciedo LF
(223) SI Hurricanes – Kendrys Morales 1B
(224) Houston Asterisks – Adam Dunn 1B
** (225) Miami Carlins – Colby Rasmus CF
(226) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jeremy Hellickson SP
(227) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Emilio Bonifacio CF
(228) Cecil  Cantrell – Clay Buchholz SP
(229) Stone  Cold – Andrelton Simmons SS
(230) Team boyle – Nick Markakis RF

Round: 24
(231) Team boyle – Kyle Seager 3B
(232) Stone  Cold – Tommy Milone SP
(233) Cecil  Cantrell – Glen Perkins RP
(234) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Trevor Plouffe 3B
(235) Drunkin’ Drafter – Jurickson Profar 2B
** (236) Miami Carlins – Jayson Werth RF
(237) Houston Asterisks – Ricky Nolasco SP
(238) SI Hurricanes – Wil Myers RF
(239) The   Fuzzy Taints – Andy Pettitte SP
(240) Team Gold – Pedro Alvarez 3B

Round: 25
(241) Team Gold – Casey Janssen RP
(242) The   Fuzzy Taints – Kurt Suzuki C
(243) SI Hurricanes – Zack Wheeler RP
(244) Houston Asterisks – Michael Cuddyer RF
** (245) Miami Carlins – Brandon League RP
(246) Drunkin’ Drafter – Norichika Aoki RF
(247) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Kyle Lohse SP
(248) Cecil  Cantrell – Jonathan Lucroy C
(249) Stone  Cold – Steve Cishek RP
(250) Team boyle – Rickie Weeks 2B

Round: 26
(251) Team boyle – Carlos Ruiz C
(252) Stone  Cold – Marco Estrada SP
(253) Cecil  Cantrell – Starling Marte LF
(254) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Daniel Murphy 2B
(255) Drunkin’ Drafter – Ryan Ludwick LF
** (256) Miami Carlins – Omar Infante 2B
(257) Houston Asterisks – Matt Dominguez 3B
(258) SI Hurricanes – Gerrit Cole SP
(259) The   Fuzzy Taints – Rajai Davis LF
(260) Team Gold – Kyuji Fujikawa RP

Round: 27
(261) Team Gold – Carlos Marmol RP
(262) The   Fuzzy Taints – Jeff Francoeur RF
(263) SI Hurricanes – Johan Santana SP
(264) Houston Asterisks – Alex Avila C
** (265) Miami Carlins – Logan Morrison LF
(266) Drunkin’ Drafter – Corey Hart 1B
(267) Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages – Jhonny Peralta SS
(268) Cecil  Cantrell – Eduardo Nunez SS
(269) Stone  Cold – James McDonald SP
(270) Team boyle – David Murphy LF