What’s it going to take tomorrow for the Miami Carlins to win the first round bye?
Right now the Carlins trail Stone Cold 224-216. Stone Cold still has 2 starts yet, but only one starter scheduled for tomorrow thanks to a Felix Hernandez injury. Bartolo Colon will pitch against Houston. The last time Colon faced the hapless Houston team he earned 0 fantasy baseball points. Cole Hamels will pitch for the Carlins tomorrow against the Braves, a team he has seen plenty over the years.
So what’s it going to take? Hopefully Stone Cold doesn’t realize King Felix is injured. The beginning of football season may help. A bad start by Colon, a nice one by Hamels, and a Miami Carlins offensive explosion are what it will take. Worst case scenario, I lose this week and have to play Team Gold next week in the first round of the playoffs. Considering they gave me a hard time all season, I’m hoping Hamels can hold the Braves hitless for 9 innings and Bartolo Colon finally gets suspended for cheating. Too bad he never knew you were supposed to lift weights when you take steroids.
I’m not sure what the point of this was or what I was seeking to discover. I also had to create an entirely new category to fit, Fantasy Baseball General. Not that I won’t be able to post more in there. For the most part I just wanted to look at more pointless numbers that mean nothing to the league. The only interesting thing that has become more clear after spending 20 minutes typing this up is many names repeat. Baseball is a sport where if you excel at one statistic, the others follow. So here are some pointless predictions and statistics.
(Even the man seems a little reluctant to believe any of the nonsense he seems to be pointing at)
Runs – 116 Miguel Cabrera (The Fuzzy Taints)
Singles – 140 Starlin Castro (Miami Carlins)
Doubles – 47 Robinson Cano/Joey Votto (Houston Asterisks/Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages)
Triples – 14 Dexter Fowler (Unsigned)
Home Runs – 42 Giancarlo Stanton (Team Gold)
Runs Batted In – 127 Miguel Cabrera (The Fuzzy Taints)
Walks – 117 Joey Votto (Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages)
Strikeouts – 204 Adam Dunn (Houston Asterisks)
Hit by Pitch – 20 Carlos Quentin (Unsigned)
Stolen Bases – 46 Mike Trouth (Team Gold)
Caught Stealing – 15 Michael Bourne (Houston Asterisks)
Grounded into Double Plays – 25 Miguel Cabrera (The Fuzzy Taints)
Total Points – 619 Miguel Cabrera (The Fuzzy Taints)
Innings Pitched – 239 Felix Hernandez (Stone Cold)
Hits – 224 Brett Myers (SI Hurricanes)
Earned Runs – 99 Bronson Arroyo (Unsigned)
Home Runs – 33 Bronson Arroyo/Derek Holland (Unsigned/Houston Asterisks)
Walks – 97 Edinson Volquez (Unsigned)
Hit Batters – Too many tied with 12 to bother listing out, who cares right?
Strikeouts – 240 Justin Verlander (Drunkin Drafters)
Wild Pitches – 26 Trevor Bauer (Unsigned)
Balks – 3 Franklin Morales/Marco Estrada/Brett Anderson (Unsigned/Stone Cold/SI Hurricanes)
Shutout – 3 Felix Hernandez (Stone Cold)
No Hitters and Perfect Games Unpredicted
Wins – 20 Justin Verlander (Drunkin Drafters)
Losses – Several tied with 4, only Doug Fister has been signed (Team Boyle)
Saves – 41 Craig Kimbrell (Cecil Cantrell)
Blown Saves – Several tied with 6, only Brandon League and Josh Axford have been signed (Miami Carlins/Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages)
Total Points – 668 Justin Verlander (Drunk Drafters)