Tagged: jayson werth

Round 1 Playoff Results

I didn’t jump to post the results for a particular reason, it took me a week to leave my bedroom. The impossible happened. The Miami Carlins were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by Team Gold. The score of the game, 324-290.

The final awards for this week look like this. Player of the Week goes to Jayson Werth with 29 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Mike Minor with 3 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Josh Donaldson with 37 points.

There was only one other game this week that mattered, my dad Team Boyle against Stone Cold. Miraculously, Team Boyle pulled out the victory. Even better, Team Boyle in Round 2 is headed toward victory against Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. Their final score was 323-284. Imagine if my dad and I switched opponents. He would have just barely lost and I would have still been playing ball, actually winning too because JDVS is really getting their asses handed to them.

In Atlanta Slaves’ news…my minor league team has made it to the finals. Currently losing by a bit, the score is still pretty close in many categories. It’s going to come down to the wire for sure.

Next post, I will award the Miami Carlins postseason awards. I could wait until the end of the playoffs, but I know I will be so sad to see my dad beat everyone that I will lose the desire.

A High Ladder to Climb

The Miami Carlins picked up some ground yesterday, but it’s still a high ladder left to climb. At the end of the day the score got to 246-199 in favor of Cecil Cantrell.

Both teams will be using their final start today too. The Miami Carlins send Mike Minor against the Miami Marlins while Cecil Cantrell will pitch Jeremy Hellickson against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Hellickson has gotten negative points his last two outings and Mike Minor has been solid most of the season.

“I’m glad the coach calls me solid,” said Minor after reading the above. “I’ve heard some players compared to liquid or gas, or even worse, plasma. It’s nice to know that I am one of the few solid ones in the coach’s eye.”

minor5_display_image(Mike Minor looking solid as ever)

The Miami Carlins need a huge day from their offense today. The struggles cannot be blamed on any one player, although a lot of fingers have been pointed at Allen Craig who hasn’t contributed any points yet this week. The biggest change this week though comes after the suspensions of Nelson Cruz and Jhonny Peralta. This has opened up a near permanent spot in the lineup for Jayson Werth who is quietly having a great season. Still, there is the open utility spot that has yet to be solidified by anyone in particular.

“The coach called [Minor] solid so maybe he will be the one to solidify the position? I don’t know. I’m new here.” said shortstop Jose Iglesias who has been splitting time with Starlin Castro.

The only other position that has turned into a platoon is catcher. Carlos Santana has been playing poorly lately and now with Wilson Ramos on the team Santana’s playing time has gone done drastically.

“I may not be in the lineup as much as I would like,” said Santana. “But at least I share a name with a popular guitar player. Well, popular among other musicians. He’s kind of like the Spanish Slash.”

Fallopian Tubes

The Carlins offense has finally started kicking today and right now we trail Cecil Cantrell by only 30 points, 226-196. Torii Hunter started the rally with 13 points earlier today and Jayson Werth has added to it with another 12. I don’t have much else to say other than cross your fingers, toes, and Fallopian tubes for me.

So You’re Telling Me There’s Still A Chance…

jim carrey


Yes! Indeed I am. Someway, somehow, the fantasy baseball gods, and yes I believe in fantasy baseball gods, looked down at me and pitied me. Yesterday was supposed to destroy the Carlins. Instead, the day finished miraculously with the Miami Carlins leading The Fuzzy Taints 258-251.

Patrick Corbin and Francisco Liriano both got wins for The Fuzzy Taints and Travis Wood got a no decision. So what happened? The Fuzzy Taints’ offense didn’t. They scored 8 total points, the same amount as Nelson Cruz alone scored. Today comes down to a combination of relief pitching and offense. Can the Carlins take it?

Against my better judgment, I decided against going completely ruthless in my strategy in filling up my starting pitching staff today with relief pitchers who are also qualified as starters. I signed Josh Collmenter for that very purpose, but decided to release him and sign Brett Cecil for today, possibly longer if things work out well. I felt keeping them both on my team would be in a way cheating, especially since it would require me to drop Jayson Werth because he is the player on the team I am angriest at. The rule of who you can and cannot have on your roster, based on positions, is not enforced and I could probably get away with it. Maybe I’m part Japanese in trying to be honorable. I’m also terribly paranoid that having a roster full of middle relievers will backfire and I”ll look like a fool.


As it should be, the Miami Carlins took the lead. The Carlins come into the weekend leading The Fuzzy Taints 180-140, with a 5-3 starts used lead. Essentially, The Fuzzy Taints are owed 20 points from two starters to even it up.

Unfortunately John Lackey once again was not used in his start yesterday and he pitched well. I say this is unfortunate because now Yu Darvish had his start pushed back to Tuesday and I had to scramble to find a 7th starter for this week. I decided to drop Neil Walker and pick up Jeremy Guthrie who pitches against the Chicago White Sox today as this 7th starter. Cole Hamels also goes today against the New York Mets. I like both of these match-ups and I’m hoping it pushes the Carlins way ahead once we run out of starts.

Yesterday’s scoring included a vintage performance from Jordan Zimmermann, a fine performance from Matt Moore, and a lackluster one from Mike Minor. The only positive from not pitching John Lackey is he wouldn’t have gotten the win because Carlins short stop Jhonny Peralta hit a 9th inning home run to help the Tigers win.

“Sure I hit it for the Tigers,” said Peralta. “I also hit it for the Carlins. Not only that, I hit it for steroid users everywhere….Awww crap.”

Jered Weaver will pitch today for The Fuzzy Taints while tomorrow it appears Francisco Liriano, Patrick Corbin, and Travis Wood will finish things off. ┬áSunday’s scoring will all come down to the offense and closers, a less exciting way to do things, but considering the Carlins have a pretty good offense I have a good feeling.

I would not be doing my job if I didn’t mention Jayson Werth’s 4 strikeout game yesterday. With Allen Craig on the bench (he would eventually have a 2-run pinch hit), Werth got the start. Werth showed his worth when he struck out 4 times. As a Philadelphia Phillies fan, I have to hate him even more now. It’s almost as if Werth isn’t taking my fantasy baseball team seriously. Such a shame because he looks like such a serious man.


So How Are Things Going So Far?

I like when people ask me how things are going and they’re sincere about it. How are things going for me right now? I’m sweaty, tired, full of pizza, and know I may not have a chance to do an update tomorrow morning as I didn’t this morning so let’s talking about how things are going so far.

Cole Hamels pitched well yesterday and got a loss. Yu Darvish pitched well today and will probably get a loss by the time I finish writing this. That is unless Grant Balfour blows a save for me. With the way things have gone for the Miami Carlins in the last two weeks, it’s possible.

The offense has continued to struggle. Jayson Werth, Ian Kinsler, and J.J. Putz are all out with injuries, which has forced other outfielders into the mix, given Matt Carpenter a starting role at second base with Neil Walker filling in on occasion, and placed Brandon League as the team’s third closer. Things are not cheerful in Carlins land.

Things for Stone Cold have been well. Max Scherzer earned 32 points for them today and the offense has done better than that of the Carlins. As I’ve told myself the last two weeks at this point, it’s still early. When an infant misbehaves, you don’t just give up on it. You continue to push through and work hard. The only real positive this week is Jason Kubel is finally hitting. I’d make up a fake interview for Jason Kubel, but my forehead is soaked in sweat and he hasn’t earned that privilege yet.

Currently, with many possibilities of things changing, Stone Cold leads 59-52. It’s a good thing the weather outside is heating up because me and the Carlins plan to make Stone Cold melt. Is it that obvious the heat is getting to me that I’m failing at puns?


Well, That Accomplished Nearly Nothing

After the first day of play against Team Gold, things finished pretty close considering both teams used two starts. Anibal Sanchez and Lance Lynn pitched well and picked up wins for Team Gold while Jordan Zimmermann and Mike Minor did the same for the Miami Carlins. The lone difference were 7 points, which if Edward Mujica did not get a save would mean things would be tied. The score right now sits at 68-61 in favor of Team Gold. The Carlins offense seems to be back on track and that’s always a good sign for a victory.

Keeping things even, Jeremy Guthrie pitches for Team Gold today and Matt Moore pitches for the Miami Carlins. Both pitchers have performed well this year, Moore struggling a bit in his last few outings.

One feature in the league is you can see recent player trends. I enjoy looking at these because it reminds me how few people know what they’re doing. Jayson Werth who is a respectable back-up recently went on the 15-day disabled list. Over 30% of teams that owned him dropped him after this happened. It may always depend on what league they’re in, but that seems a little hasty to me. The same thing happened for Carlins pitcher JJ Putz. He’s on the disabled list and over 40% of teams that owned him gave him his release. Unless this is a league of 4 teams they’re playing in, it seems silly to get rid of a player who will be back in 2 weeks. Maybe they have “The Fuzzy Taints Syndrome” and enjoy leading the league in transactions.

Arizona Diamondbacks v Colorado Rockies


(I’m not sure what JJ Putz’s injury is. Judging by this picture, he lost his neck)

On the other spectrum, Ryan Raburn had three good games and his ownership increased drastically. To avoid sounding like a hypocrite, I only added him because Neil Walker went down, I needed a second baseman, no other good ones were available, and I had no interest in keeping him for much longer. Ryan Raburn was rated low for a reason at the beginning of the season, he’s not meant to hit two home runs every game.

Guys like Matt Kemp and Josh Hamilton have gotten off to a slow start this season. They’re probably on the league “cannot drop list” so even if you wanted to get rid of them the settings would probably not allow it. Stick it out with those players. If by the All-Star break they have an Adam Dunn batting average and a Ben Revere amount of extra base hits, okay, admit you made a bad pick and get rid of them.

Broken, Not Beaten

The injury bug has the Miami Carlins hard lately. First Freddie Freeman went down early last week. Now OF Jason Kubel is out. Catcher Carlos Santana has missed almost a full week after starting off the season with a .500 batting average. Rounding out the pain, OF Franklin Gutierrez is listed as day-to-day. With the injuries piling up, next week looks to be a more difficult one for “America’s Fantasy Baseball Team.”

Yesterday ended positively for the Carlins. The Si Hurricanes had three pitchers going with the Carlins only having one, Cole Hamels. Still, the Carlins led the day 31-30 leaving us with a 252-183 score headed into Sunday. Hamels earned a no decision, but had his first positive outing of the season.

“I was really looking forward to getting my first win,” said Hamels post-game. “But I guess I don’t really care because I get to go home and climb on that hot chick from Survivor who got naked for Oreos. You would not believe what she does for a peanut butter cup.”

The pitching staff for the Si Hurricanes struggled yesterday. Jon Lester started off the day for them on a positive note earning 18 points, but after that things went downhill. Brett Anderson earned -4 points and Phil Hughes vomited up a -12. Today the Si Hurricanes have three guys pitching even though only one start is available to them. I have contacted the Office of the Commissioner by posting a random note on the league’s homepage. I believe the punishment is you lose your best pitching scores based on however many players you use. I’m still not positive though. It’s messing with my strategy on whether to use my final start on Brandon Morrow, Jarrod Parker, or neither out of fear they will continue to pitch poorly as they have all season long.

It’s looking as if next week’s match-up will be against yet another undefeated team. At most three teams will head into Week 3 with a zero in the loss column and at least two will. The season is still young and anything can change. Injuries can be the determining factor for a fantasy over anything else. It’s important you have a great bench, which I believe I do have. Salvador Perez has filled in well for Carlos Santana despite not being named after a musician. Jayson Werth has seen a lot of playing time due to Jason Kubel’s infrequent play. Domonic Brown has performed well when he’s been in the lineup and Neil Walker has had his moments. Alexei Ramirez has seen little playing time and could eventually down the line be used as trade bait. The Carlins are a very well-rounded team and through these first two weeks I have faith the team will continue on down the road to a championship


(I was going to say this was Jayson Werth, but Chewbacca ruined it by being left-handed. Who would have thought?)