Tagged: kung fu panda

Pablo Sandoval You Fat S.O.B. I Love You

Pablo Sandoval has finally contributed. Last night, Miami Carlins third baseman and competitive eater Pablo Sandoval hit three home runs totally 25 points. After a Yu Darvish -1 pitching performance, Sandoval has helped the Carlins get back in it this week.

The score is currently tied at 141, the Carlins having used 5 starts and Stone Cold having used 4. It’s going to take a few good pitching performances and maybe even another fat bastard hitting three home runs. As it currently looks, Mike Minor and Cole Hamels will get the last two starts for the Carlins before the postseason begins next Monday. The Carlins pretty much need this win to secure a first round bye. A playoff spot, if my math is correct, has been secured since the Carlins have the tie-breaker over most teams.

For now though, let’s celebrate Pablo Sandoval. The next hamburger is on me kid.

Pablo Sandoval

Fat People Elbows

I woke up to check my email and to my dismay the first article I viewed was one about Pablo Sandoval’s big fat elbow giving him problems. I know Pablo has a weight problem. I also know it’s okay to make fun of him for it because his job is to stay in shape. He gets paid millions to play a sport and he can’t even keep his weight down. He’s getting so fat it’s beginning to cut off circulation in his elbow. Or maybe forking food into his mouth continuously is doing some damage to the tendons. ¬†Whatever his reason for having a sore elbow is, it’s easy enough to blame how fat he is.

According to baseball reference Pablo Sandoval is 5’11 240 pounds. Usually the information on these things are from when they were drafted so who knows what he is now? I would guess he’s gained at least 20 pounds and shrunk 2 inches from his big fat stomach dragging him down.

Why was I stupid? I had a lot riding on Sandoval having a good season. Could he be headed elsewhere in this league? Will anyone take a big fat monster who damaged his elbow leaning on it while lying on the couch all off-season?

pablo sandoval