Here are the nominees for the Miami Carlins Awards.
Player of the Year:
Surprise of the Year:
Disappointment of the Year:
Nelson Cruz/Jhonny Peralta Suspension
Best Free Agent Signing/Waiver Claim:
Matt Carpenter 4/2
Carlos Gomez 4/23
Torii Hunter 5/15
Draft Pick Steal:
Grant Balfour Round 17 (165 overall)
Mike Minor Round 20 (196 overall)
Jayson Werth Round 24 (236 overall)
Player of the Week Wins: Jhoulys Chacin, Nelson Cruz, Yu Darvish (3), Freddie Freeman (3), Carlos Gomez (3), Cole Hamels (2), Ian Kinsler, Andrew McCutchen (2), Mike Minor (3), Matt Moore (2), Carlos Santana, Jayson Werth, Jordan Zimmermann
Enemy of the Week Wins: Yoenis Cespedes, Chris Davis, Josh Donaldson, Edwin Encarnacian (2), Jose Fernandez, Matt Garza, Tim Hudson, Adam Jones, Jason Kipnis, Cliff Lee, Evan Longoria, Joe Mauer, Brandon Moss, Edward Mujica, Bud Norris, Max Scherzer, Nick Swisher, Justin Upton, Shane Victorino, Adam Wainwright, David Wright, Ryan Zimmerman
Disappointment of the Week Wins: Grant Balfour, Matt Carpenter, Starlin Castro (2), Allen Craig, Nelson Cruz, Yu Darvish, Jeremy Guthrie, Jose Iglesias, Ian Kinsler, Jason Kubel, Andrew McCutchen, Wade Miley, Mike Minor, Matt Moore, Jhonny Peralta, Pablo Sandoval (2), Jake Westbrook (2), Jordan Zimmermann (3)
I didn’t jump to post the results for a particular reason, it took me a week to leave my bedroom. The impossible happened. The Miami Carlins were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by Team Gold. The score of the game, 324-290.
The final awards for this week look like this. Player of the Week goes to Jayson Werth with 29 points. Disappointment of the Week goes to Mike Minor with 3 points. Enemy of the Week goes to Josh Donaldson with 37 points.
There was only one other game this week that mattered, my dad Team Boyle against Stone Cold. Miraculously, Team Boyle pulled out the victory. Even better, Team Boyle in Round 2 is headed toward victory against Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages. Their final score was 323-284. Imagine if my dad and I switched opponents. He would have just barely lost and I would have still been playing ball, actually winning too because JDVS is really getting their asses handed to them.
In Atlanta Slaves’ news…my minor league team has made it to the finals. Currently losing by a bit, the score is still pretty close in many categories. It’s going to come down to the wire for sure.
Next post, I will award the Miami Carlins postseason awards. I could wait until the end of the playoffs, but I know I will be so sad to see my dad beat everyone that I will lose the desire.
The final ruling came down and Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages was given the win over the Houston Asterisks instead of the tie. It doesn’t matter. I still say they engage in incestuous activities. They manage a fantasy baseball team together. That’s weird.
We enter Sunday with the Miami Carlins trailing the Bosom Buddies 310-286. Matt Garza pitches for Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages and Mike Minor makes the final start for the Miami Carlins. The Carlins are going to have to make up a lot of points offensively to overtake JDVS and pick up the win.
I also wanted to do a brief list here of 10 things two men should never do together without raising an eyebrow, inspired by running a fantasy baseball team.
1) Own a cat
2) Bathe in a lake
3) Go on a cruise
4) Go clothes shopping
5) Proctology appointments
6) Swap underpants
7) Sleep on the same one-person cot
8) Sit on Santa’s lap
9) Work on their abs
10) Share a sandwich
The Miami Carlins picked up some ground yesterday, but it’s still a high ladder left to climb. At the end of the day the score got to 246-199 in favor of Cecil Cantrell.
Both teams will be using their final start today too. The Miami Carlins send Mike Minor against the Miami Marlins while Cecil Cantrell will pitch Jeremy Hellickson against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Hellickson has gotten negative points his last two outings and Mike Minor has been solid most of the season.
“I’m glad the coach calls me solid,” said Minor after reading the above. “I’ve heard some players compared to liquid or gas, or even worse, plasma. It’s nice to know that I am one of the few solid ones in the coach’s eye.”
The Miami Carlins need a huge day from their offense today. The struggles cannot be blamed on any one player, although a lot of fingers have been pointed at Allen Craig who hasn’t contributed any points yet this week. The biggest change this week though comes after the suspensions of Nelson Cruz and Jhonny Peralta. This has opened up a near permanent spot in the lineup for Jayson Werth who is quietly having a great season. Still, there is the open utility spot that has yet to be solidified by anyone in particular.
“The coach called [Minor] solid so maybe he will be the one to solidify the position? I don’t know. I’m new here.” said shortstop Jose Iglesias who has been splitting time with Starlin Castro.
The only other position that has turned into a platoon is catcher. Carlos Santana has been playing poorly lately and now with Wilson Ramos on the team Santana’s playing time has gone done drastically.
“I may not be in the lineup as much as I would like,” said Santana. “But at least I share a name with a popular guitar player. Well, popular among other musicians. He’s kind of like the Spanish Slash.”
At one point during the Star Wars Trilogy, Luke Skywalker started shooting a bunch of storm troopers. These storm troopers probably had families and people who cared about them. As he killed each, he let out a wild laugh/yell. Han Solo turned to him and told him not to be so cocky. I’m in a similar position this week against my opponent Stone Cold. Tallying up Monday, Tuesday, and a few games today, the score is 86-69. Now why am I getting cocky? Because Stone Cold has used 3 of their 7 starts. The Miami Carlins haven’t used any.
The Carlin’s pitching has been inconsistent of late and I’ve been over that already. Today Matt Moore went on the disabled list which is a huge setback for the team, especially with how well he had been pitching minus his most recent start on Sunday. It looked for a while like I wouldn’t have to have a revolving door of starting pitchers, but now I am have to. Sam Dedundo of the Minnesota Twins who has been pitching well of late was signed to replace Moore in the interim. He pitches tomorrow against the Houston Astros, something that from a distance looks like a sure thing.
So why the Carlins winning by so much this week? First, Grant Balfour and Joe Nathan have made up for being so terrible last week. Second, Freddie Freeman’s two home runs yesterday. Even today Torii Hunter, while on the bench, tacked on 15 points. The Carlins by far have the best offensive team. Even with the possible loss of Jhonny Peralta and Nelson Cruz to season ending suspensions the team has Pablo Sandoval, Jayson Werth, and Torii Hunter who can easily step in, all three of whom deserve more playing time anyway.
So why has Stone Cold stunk? Okay, maybe they haven’t stunk. That’s a harsh word. Looking over their stats for this week, it’s pretty average. The big difference right now is that the Carlins have gotten 29 points from their three closers; Grant Balfour, Joe Nathan, and Jim Henderson who earned two saves yesterday.
Things can of course change. Mike Minor pitches for the Carlins tonight as does Corey Kluber making his Miami Carlins debut. As long as they pitch to their average we should be good. A bye week is really important to me right now, possibly more important than anything else. That includes life an being kind to my fellow man. I spend way too much time on this time to fail. Ugh I’m too cocky.
This epic match-up of first place teams this week has started off well for the Miami Carlins. After Day One the score was 47-41 in favor of the Carlins. After Day Two, yesterday, the score 95-84, where we remain right now. The best thing about this is that my opponent this week, Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages, have been getting more points from their starters than I have. Mike Minor only got me 14 points in a no decision and Cole Hamels added a reasonable 22 with his win. On the Jimmy Dean Vienna Sausages front, Matt Garza earned 25 points and Adam Wainwright tallied 27. The difference right now has been the two team’s offenses. The Miami Carlins have been consistent so far this week. The way I see it, as long as we can keep pace with JDVS and have a better offense, we may be able to take down their top tier pitching.
My advice to myself today is not to get ahead of myself. I was close the last time we faced each other and it all fell apart in the end. I’m hoping this time around though the results are different. I can see a Miami Carlins win this week. The way I see it, we are only about 4 wins away from clinching a playoff spot. Of course I don’t just want a playoff spot. I want to win. Going into the All-Star break with a 9-6 record would be nice. The rest of my games this season are against teams in the East Division, the division that appeared stronger at first but has since began to falter. The season marches on. I just have to take it one week at a time. Or maybe one day. Let’s stick to one at-bat.
As it should be, the Miami Carlins took the lead. The Carlins come into the weekend leading The Fuzzy Taints 180-140, with a 5-3 starts used lead. Essentially, The Fuzzy Taints are owed 20 points from two starters to even it up.
Unfortunately John Lackey once again was not used in his start yesterday and he pitched well. I say this is unfortunate because now Yu Darvish had his start pushed back to Tuesday and I had to scramble to find a 7th starter for this week. I decided to drop Neil Walker and pick up Jeremy Guthrie who pitches against the Chicago White Sox today as this 7th starter. Cole Hamels also goes today against the New York Mets. I like both of these match-ups and I’m hoping it pushes the Carlins way ahead once we run out of starts.
Yesterday’s scoring included a vintage performance from Jordan Zimmermann, a fine performance from Matt Moore, and a lackluster one from Mike Minor. The only positive from not pitching John Lackey is he wouldn’t have gotten the win because Carlins short stop Jhonny Peralta hit a 9th inning home run to help the Tigers win.
“Sure I hit it for the Tigers,” said Peralta. “I also hit it for the Carlins. Not only that, I hit it for steroid users everywhere….Awww crap.”
Jered Weaver will pitch today for The Fuzzy Taints while tomorrow it appears Francisco Liriano, Patrick Corbin, and Travis Wood will finish things off. Sunday’s scoring will all come down to the offense and closers, a less exciting way to do things, but considering the Carlins have a pretty good offense I have a good feeling.
I would not be doing my job if I didn’t mention Jayson Werth’s 4 strikeout game yesterday. With Allen Craig on the bench (he would eventually have a 2-run pinch hit), Werth got the start. Werth showed his worth when he struck out 4 times. As a Philadelphia Phillies fan, I have to hate him even more now. It’s almost as if Werth isn’t taking my fantasy baseball team seriously. Such a shame because he looks like such a serious man.
The way this inaugural season for the Miami Carlins is going is suspicious. I can score the third or fourth most points for the week and I will have been matched up against whoever scored the most or second most. This week looks like it may end up one of those weeks. The Miami Carlins have scored the third most points. Our opponent, Drunkin’ Drafters, have scored the fourth most points. Then there’s a huge drop off by about 50 points to the fifth most scoring team. Whichever way it goes, someone is going to get screwed.
The score is 253-242. Drunkin’ Drafters is one of the more active teams in the league and I’m not referring to his sex life either. He managed to get online this morning, drop Josh Johnson and sign Miguel Gonzalez of the Baltimore Orioles to pitch against the Boston Red Sox this afternoon. I was very tempted to drop a couple pitchers and sign all of the best pitchers going today just to block him from getting someone good. I thought it over and not only would this be Bush League, it would probably end up backfiring on me somehow.
Jordan Zimmermann struggled yesterday and Mike Minor didn’t have his best performance. That’s why the score is so close. If Zimmermann had a typical 25 point start and Minor did the same, we wouldn’t even be talking about the possibility of a loss. We get lucky that Drunkin’ Drafters starter Alex Cobb got carted off the field in a stretcher, taking away the possibility of a win for him.
I’m not a dad so this Father’s Day will be spent for me wishing and hoping that my fantasy baseball offense hits a couple home runs and that Miguel Gonzalez gets him early to his children. I’m not sure if he has children or not, but judging by his last name, he probably does. That wasn’t a racist joke. That was a “I’m being stupid” joke because I’m assuming he’s related to all of the other Gonzalez’s in the world. I guess that’s still a bit racist. My bad.
The last four weeks have been difficult for me as far as fantasy baseball is concerned. That’s not to say the rest of my life has been sunshine, candy, and nude women. I’m just saying, this blog is for my fantasy baseball, nothing else, so that’s what I’m referring to.
The Miami Carlins have either been hard luck losers or losers in general. This week has gotten off to a great start. Although yesterday only Chris Tillman was the only pitcher to pick up a win, Mike Minor and Jordan Zimmermann didn’t get the loss and still pitched well.
“Everything is coming back together,” said outfielder Carlos Gomez. “The hitters are hitting. The pitchers are pitching. And the manager is….whatever it is he does. Hitting? No. I already used that one.”
My opponent this week Cecil Cantrell has yet to use a start. He has C.C. Sabathia ready to go today, which he probably will if he has any sense. Most of his match-ups this week are not favorable. Matt Cain against the Diamondbacks (Matt Cain against a little league team at this point would be unfavorable), Jason Hammel against the Rays, Jeremy Hellickson against the Orioles, and Clay Buchholz against the Angels. I know the Angels are struggling and Buchholz has been having a great season, but it still is not a lock by any means.
The score right now rests at 132-56. It’s about time the Carlins got a win over a good team. No offense to all of the crappy teams I have already beaten this year, none of which are currently over .500.
It feels like it has been forever since I’ve been in the lead anywhere for the Miami Carlins or Atlanta Slaves. Right now the Miami Carlins lead Cecil Cantrell 29-6 and the Atlanta Slaves lead 8-1. It’s a good feeling for both teams to have a nice lead after the first day. It’s kind of like going on a date with a fat chick. It’s only Tuesday, but at least she’s a real woman.
Pitching today for the Carlins will be:
Jordan Zimmermann against the Mets
Mike Minor against the Pirates
Chris Tillman (ringer) against the Astros
Matt Moore is also available to pitch, but I will not be using his start. He’s going up against the Tigers and Anibal Sanchez.
I have high expectations for these three pitchers today. I’m expecting at least one perfect game, one no-hitter, and one 27 strikeout game. I feel after the last four weeks the team owes me that much.